Heaven Calling Read online

  © Matt Shaw

  The right of Matt Shaw to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any format without written consent from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for insertion in a magazine, newspaper or broadcast.

  The characters, and story, in this book are purely fictitious. Any likeness to person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  With thanks to MARK KELLY for his work on the cover

  FROM THE SAME AUTHOR

  Novels

  The Infestation

  The Lost Son

  Love Life

  The Vampire’s Treaty

  (The Peter Chronicles)

  Happy Ever After

  G.S.O.H Essential

  A Fresh Start

  PETER

  All Good Things

  Once Upon a TIme

  9 Months Book One

  9 Months Book Two

  9 Months Book Three

  Non-Fiction titles

  im fine

  Still Fine

  PlentyOfFreaks

  Wasting Stamps

  Self-publishing: Releasing your book to the digital market

  Collections

  Scribblings From a Dark Place

  9 Months Trilogy

  Happy Ever After Trilogy

  Reviews, Critics & Mystery Shopping (DELETED TITLE)

  The Story Collection: Volume One

  The Story Collection: Volume Two

  Shorts

  A Taste of Your Fears (part of the Literature-Ly You range)

  A Taste of Your Fears 2 (part of the Literature-Ly You range)

  Taste of Horror

  The Peter Chronicles (includes bonus stories)

  Novellas

  Smile

  The Dead Don’t Knock

  Writer’s Block

  Buried

  The Last Stop

  The Chosen Routes

  A Christmas to Remember (YOU choose the story)

  Romance is Dead

  The Breakdown

  The Cabin

  The 8th

  The Cabin II: Asylum

  The Missing Years of Thomas Pritchard

  Consumed

  Influenza: Strain ‘Z’

  Heaven Calling

  Picture Books

  I Hate Fruit & Veg

  Want to find Matt Shaw?

  www.facebook.com/mattshawpublications

  www.mattshawpublications.co.uk

  [email protected]

  H E A V E N

  C A L L I N G

  Matt Shaw

  Sometimes it’s nice to step away from the horrors of my mind and explore the side of me that isn’t talked about quite so much; the side which shows, despite the darkness dwelling within, I actually have a heart too.

  ~ Matt Shaw

  The Quiet

  Holly walked into the bedroom she shared with Josh and looked at the pile of wrapped presents that were stacked in the corner of the room with her name on the tags next to a message wishing her a Happy Christmas. It was supposed to be a Happy Christmas. At the age of twenty-six she felt as though her life was planned and that she had everything she wished for. She had a job she was good at, and one which paid her enough to afford the bills along with a couple of luxury items each month - items such as new make-up, hair cuts or to get her nails done. She had the love of her husband, Josh, who happened to be her childhood sweetheart and they had their first home - one that they could actually say was theirs as opposed to one which they simply rented for an extortionate price each month. Holly perched herself on the edge of the bed and stared at the presents, lost in thought.

  What do you think you’re doing? she heard Josh in her mind.

  “Nothing,” she replied to thin air.

  You lie! I caught you! You were trying to feel the presents! You were sneaking!

  “I wasn’t!” she said quietly. A distant look on her face as she relived the memory from the previous day, “I needed to get to the corner of the room.”

  Yeah? Then what was it you needed then? He had asked her. He wasn’t stupid, he knew only too well that she was trying to see what the presents were and - more importantly - which ones were for her. She was the same every Christmas; a big excitable child.

  “I was looking for my top,” she said out loud.

  Josh had come straight back at her when she said that as she knew he would. It was a weak excuse considering it was his corner of the room and she didn’t have any clothes, or anything for that matter, over there. Her belongings were on the other side of the room - the other side of the room which happened to have no presents piled up which may or may not have been for her. She couldn’t help but smile when she remembered what he had said next, “If you want to look - fine - but you’re only ruining your own Christmas Day,” he had lectured - as though that was going to stop her from taking a sneak peak at what was hidden by the silver, sparkly wrapping. As soon as he finished his sentence, Holly had sat up and reached for the larger of the presents.

  “Well I suppose I could have a little look at this one then,” she had told him. When she had said it - with Josh standing there – he had jumped forward and pinned her to the bed, both of them laughing together merrily. At this point they started to kiss and he told her that he loved her. She said she loved him too. This time, though, he wasn’t there to pull her away from the presents. He wasn’t there to pin her, playfully, to the bed. He wasn’t there to tell her how much he loved her and how happy he was. And he wasn’t there to hear how much she loved him back. She put the large present on her lap and read the tag, taped to the top of it, My gorgeous wife.

  “Are you okay?” a voice came from the doorway behind her. The quiet soothing voice of her mother, Karen. “You hardly ate any of your dinner,” she said.

  Holly pushed the present from her lap and watched as it dropped to the floor with a soft thud - the soft thud of a cuddly toy no doubt. Every year Josh got her one. Not because Holly had a thing for them, he just liked to find the ugliest one possible so that he could say how he had to get it because it reminded him of her. “I wasn’t hungry,” she told her mum.

  Karen, a lady in her early sixties with grey-ish blonde hair, crossed the room and sat on the bed next to her daughter. She was concerned for her - not because of what had happened to Josh - that went without saying. But more so because she hadn’t seen her cry yet. Holly had simply shut her emotions down since hearing the news. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to cry though - unbeknownst to Karen - it was because she was scared to start. She thought that once she shed one tear she wouldn’t be able to stop. Karen put her arm around her, “I know it’s hard,” she said, “but you have to try and eat.” Holly didn’t say anything. She hardly registered that her mother’s arm was around her. “I’ll wrap it up and put it to the side,” she continued, “maybe you’ll fancy it later?” Again - Holly didn’t say anything. “You sure you don’t want your father and I to stay tonight? It’s not a problem, honestly.”

  “I’ll be fine,” Holly lied. She feared she’d never be the same again. How could things go back to normal for her? She had lost the love of her life that evening. For her - nothing would ever be ‘right’ for her again and she didn’t want it to be either. She didn’t want to stop missing him, stop yearning for his touch. She didn’t want to let go.

  “Well if you’re sure,” said Karen. She stood up, “Your father wants to pop upstairs to say goodnight. Is that okay?” she continued. Holly nodded. “Okay well - if you need us - do not hesitate to call, okay?”

/>   “Okay, mum.” Holly looked at her - the first time she had probably looked at anyone since the hospital, “Thank you.” She forced a smile. Not because she wanted to but because she thought her mum needed to see one; false hope that everything would, eventually, be okay.

  Karen smiled back at her, “I love you,” she said. She leant forward and gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead before standing up straight again, “I’ll get your father.” She walked out of the room leaving Holly to her thoughts. She looked back at the presents on the floor.

  * * * * *

  “You know, as soon as you leave, I’m opening the presents, right?” Holly teased Josh. They were lying on the bed together, face to face. Their clothes in a crumpled heap upon the floor where they had been tossed before the happy couple’s impromptu embrace.

  “I’ll take them with me,” said Josh.

  “No you won’t - you know that’s too much hassle for you to be bothering with. Especially considering you’re going to be late as it is.”

  “Your eyes are really blue when you’re up to no good,” he said with a smile on his face. “Okay,” he said getting back to the subject at hand, “for every present you tamper with, I’ll return one.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “You want to test me on that?”

  Holly laughed, “You’re sexy when you’re strict.” She leaned forward and kissed Josh on the mouth. He responded but then pulled away.

  “And you’re bad.”

  “Why am I bad?” Holly fluttered her eyelids. She knew what she was doing - she was stalling Josh from leaving for his business trip. The more she teased him, and the more he wanted her, the less chance of him getting out of the house. She moved in for another kiss but was thwarted when Josh sat up and reached for his boxer shorts - which were on the bottom of the pile of clothes. “You denied me?” she teased him.

  “I have to go,” he said, “I’m already late.”

  “How can you be late when your appointment isn’t until tomorrow? Don’t go.” She tried to pull him back to her but he jumped up and grabbed his jeans from the floor before stepping into them. “Stay with me!”

  With his jeans buttoned up, Josh laid back down on the bed and kissed his wife. “If I go now I can get the deal finished and be back by tomorrow night. If I leave in the morning I doubt I’ll be home much before the day after.”

  “I don’t care - I want you here now,” she said.

  “And then tomorrow when you’re all alone in bed you’ll be wishing you had let me go tonight...” said Josh.

  * * * * *

  Josh’s words echoed through her mind as she laid on the bed alone.

  And then tomorrow when you’re all alone in bed you’ll be wishing you had let me go tonight...If she had forced him to stay the night, demanded he went in the morning, she would have been alone in bed - as she was now - but at least she knew he’d be coming home by the following morning. At least she knew he’d be back at some point - to give her the cuddles she missed so much.

  It had only been about thirty minutes since her mother and father had left her for the night after she insisted that they didn’t need to stay but the quiet of the house was already starting to get to her. Every creak, every little noise - all magnified as though they were louder than thunder. She pulled Josh’s pillow close to her and breathed in his scent which lingered upon the tainted case. She should have made him stay the night. She wished she had made him stay.

  Alone, she allowed herself to cry.

  A Series of Firsts

  Holly awoke the following morning blurry eyed. Her eyes sore from the previous night’s crying. As feared - once she had started she couldn’t stop. At least not until sleep finally pulled her to a better world. A quieter world. A world where Josh was still alive and they were living in perfect bliss together just as she believed they would have for the rest of their lives. She had barely woken up properly when the telephone on the small wooden bedside cabinet by the side of the bed started to ring. She looked at it but didn’t make a move to reach for the receiver. It would only be her mother, or maybe her father, checking up to see that she was okay; perhaps enquiring as to whether she wanted them to come over with some food, or something. She didn’t want them to come over though. She didn’t want them to make a fuss. She didn’t want to have to talk to them about what had happened. More specifically she didn’t want to have to put on a brave face to stop them from worrying about her. She just wanted to be left alone with her thoughts - thoughts centered around the past as opposed to the present. People say it’s bad to live in denial but she disagreed. At this moment in her life the only way she felt as though she could live was by being in denial. It never happened. She was fine. Josh was fine. Having people in the house just broke that illusion and forced her to face the harsh truth of reality. If she could remain quiet about it - not discuss the details - then it was easier to pretend, in her mind, that it hadn’t happened and that - actually - Josh would be home soon enough and their lives would continue.

  “What’s the point of a telephone if you never answer it?” he had asked before when she refused to answer the phone ringing by the side of the bed after it had either woken them up or interrupted a morning cuddle. He always asked the question of her when she refused to answer the caller but she’d always go back with the same answer.

  If it’s important they’ll leave a message, she’d tell him. She said it out loud now too, “If it’s important, they’ll leave a message.” The phone rang a couple more times before stopping just as suddenly as it had started. She waited for the answering machine to click through with a message.

  If it wasn’t important they would have probably waited for a more sociable time to call, Josh would point out to her.

  “Next time you can get it,” Holly said out loud. She rolled onto her side and continued to watch the answering machine message’s display - waiting for the ‘zero’ on the counter to turn into a ‘one’.

  The phone started to ring again. Holly leaned across and lifted the receiver from the handset. Two rings in quick succession - to her that meant the call was important.

  “Hello?” she said - her voice strained by the fact she’d just woken up and had spent hours the previous night weeping into Josh’s pillow.

  “Holly? It’s mum...” Karen’s voice on the other end of the line. Holly closed her eyes and wished she had never answered the phone.

  Tell her I’m out! Josh would be frantically waving at Holly, from across the room, when his own mother used to call. She never did lie for him. She enjoyed watching him squirm whilst having to explain to his mum that he had been too busy to call her.

  “Too busy to call your own mother?!” Holly would hear her shout down the phone whilst Josh would stand there giving her daggers. It wasn’t that he didn’t like talking to his mum. He just preferred it to be face to face instead of on the telephone. Mainly because - once she started talking - it was very hard to jump into the one-sided conversation because she’d just continue to rattle on about this and that. At least - face to face - it was possible to just interrupt her gassing. Once caught on the phone, he’d settle down into his favourite chair and put his head back against the soft cushions - wishing he were elsewhere or that the hand receiver would suddenly run out of charge forcing him to hang up on her. Holly, meanwhile, would continue to laugh.

  “Can you hear me? Are you there?” Karen continued.

  “I’m here, mum. Did you just call?”

  “No. If you didn’t answer the first time I’d have left a message for you to call me when you were up and about,” she didn’t wait for Holly to say anything before continuing with, “I was wondering whether you wanted me to come by today? Your father had to work but I am free...”

  “I’ve got work,” said Holly.

  “What? Don’t be silly. You don’t have to go to work. They’ll understand. Did you want for me to call them?” Karen asked.

  “I want to go in,” said Holly. “I’m so
rry, mum, but I have to go. I’m going to be late.” She heard her mum go to say something else but pressed the hang-up key on the telephone’s keypad killing the line instantly. She knew she meant well but she couldn’t be dealing with all of the fussing at the moment. Not today. Today was a day of firsts. Unpleasant ones - not like the firsts you experience at the start of a relationship; the first date, the first kiss, the first night you stay over...Today was the first day she’d wake up without him. The first day she’d eat breakfast alone, the first day she wouldn’t get a kiss goodbye as she left for work. She needed to work - not because she wanted to - but because she knew she couldn’t stay in the house alone. Not with all of the firsts going through her head. She threw the flowery duvet away from her body and swung her feet to the carpeted floor.

  Work would be a welcome distraction.

  How’s about getting me a cup of tea seeing as you’re out of bed? The first day Josh didn’t ask for a cheeky morning drink as soon as Holly’s feet touched the floor. The first day Holly didn’t turn around to where he laid to inform him that it should be him who was getting her a morning drink considering he had the luxury of starting work later. She put it from her mind and stumbled across the landing towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her just as the telephone started to ring again.